Thursday, 28 August 2008


Hello guys, im back. I'm so tired of going here and there. i wanted to stay in my room, in my house in marjon till its Raya. My family's gone..they've went back to Malaysia last Sunday. Am i sad? I don't know. More to relief maybe. Relieved because i don't have to worry about all the plannings anymore and i don't have to carry that responsibility to look after them here. Not that i see them as a burden, no, i don't mean that. I'm happy to accept them and have them here with me of course, but you know me, being almost a perfectionist, i deem everything to be near perfect and perfect things need scrutinize planning right? The timing, the places, the foods, everything. I want the best for them that's why im so fussy about all these things. Well, maybe i don't act like one, but may way of showing it is different. Who cares? hu...

But then just now when i arrived from London, seeing the condition of my room..i can still feel the aura of my mom and sis who used to sleep here.. yeah..quite sad tho..they're not here anymore.. =,( i have to sleep alone tonight...i don't want to cry because i knew if i started crying it would be hard for me to stop. i would be too emotional then and can't do anything else. enough said. Ramadhan is approaching and am i ready? Please show me your hidayah and your guidance ya Allah..purify my heart and thoughts so that i can serve only you ya allah..forgive me for my wrong doings as im only your forgetful and weak slave who repeatedly do sins against your will..set aside my ego and pride and show me the way to humbleness and gentleness ya Allah..for i don't have anyone else but only you that i can ask for help and guidance..aminn..

Forgive me my friends if i ever hurt you physically, verbally, or emotionally..i don't meant them and at those time perhaps i was too emotional..too much driven by my nafsu instead of my aqal.. forgive me..for im only an imperfect human who can't escape from making mistakes...

Lots of love,
hani iryani

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