How to Affair-proof your relationship

7 ways to make sure your partnership does not fall into infidelity 

 

 

 

 

An affair is one of the most difficult challenges a couple can face, and nothing destroys a romantic relationship faster than infidelity. Is it really possible to affair-proof your relationship? The answer is, "Yes, it's possible." But in order to make that happen, it's important to know what causes an affair in the first place.

 

 

An affair is an extreme symptom of a relationship that has been in trouble for some time. Affairs do not happen out of the blue and rarely happen because someone is a bad person. Cheating is caused by one single factor: 

 

 

"Lack." In a relationship, it's a lack of love, attention, intimacy, recognition, respect, and connection that builds up over time. Eventually, this "lack" can become so painful that the person in the most pain will often act out by cheating. Because communication has broken down, the cheating person doesn't feel like they can talk to their partner, so that makes them vulnerable to cheating.

 

 

So, how do you avoid getting to this point in a relationship? Below are seven ways to avoid the "lack" and prevent a potential affair.

 

 

 

1. Avoid complacency. Don't ever take your relationship for granted. Partnerships need to be nourished daily by a kind word, appreciation, a loving kiss, a smile. Complacency is a warning signal that you and your partner are out of touch with each other.

 

 

2. Keep the lines of communication open. Don't sweep issues under the rug. They won't go away! Learn ways to resolve differences so that recurring arguments don't continue.

 

 

3. Pay attention to your gut. If you're feeling something isn't quite right in your relationship, 99 percent of the time you're correct. Find a way to approach your partner to talk about things. Keep your relationship current by checking in on a weekly basis to make sure problems aren't building up.

 

 

4. Find time for each other. Don't get so busy that you forget to have a date with your partner. Make time away from chores and work to renew your loving feelings. Remember how important your mate is to you. Tell them, by making time for them.

 

 

5. Know when it's a time of stress and pay attention to your partner even more. Some common trigger times for extra stress in a relationship are job changes, health problems, changes in finances, and the death of a family member or friend. During these stressful periods, pay extra attention to your relationship. Let your partner know you're there, and make even more time to connect with each other.

 

 

 

6. Understand the real issues in your relationship. Learn tools for resolving arguments. Avoid blaming, shaming, and the need to always be right in an argument. Learn what you're really fighting about so that you can resolve your issues. If you're fighting about the wrong thing, you'll never resolve arguments.

 

 

 

7. Always remember what it was that made you fall in love with your partner. Too often we allow our disagreements to cloud our love for our significant other, and we forgot why we even fell in love! Keep your sense of humor. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt and don't make them your enemy.

 

 

Avoid the "lack" and affair-proof your relationship by staying conscious of yourself and your partner. Nurture each other and keep the lines of communication open.

 

 

By Sharon M. Rivkin, M.A., M.F.T., for Hitchedmag.com  
Photo: Getty ImagesRead more articles from Hitched at hitchedmag.com.

moi daddy

My dad just called me to ask if i did called him before. Yes, actually i did miscall him ;P (save credit! ;p) hehe..he asked me

Dad: "Hani, gaji da masuk ke bulan nie? Duet da dapat ke?"

hu...dalam hati i da cuak2 igt my dad nk suh bayaq dwet keta. yela, da guna kena la bayar bulan2 kan.hehe..so i was like

Me: "blum lagi..akhir bulan 3 baru dpt gaji...nape?" haha..lagi mau tanye ;p 

What surprised me was that then my dad ckp

Dad: "oo ye ke...nie ada duet ke tak nie? NAK duet tak? Ada lagi duetnye?" 

Heheh...tkejut seyh....padahal x smpai seminggu lepas br je my dad bg duet before org dtg johor nieh...so i pun jwb

me: "eh xyah lah..ade lg duit...xyah xyah.." 

my dad reply: "Betul nie? xdela, kalo xde duet bape nk masukkan duit nie...nnati kalo xde duet bgtau la ye.."


me: "ha, ok2..." hihi...



See...besarnye pengorbanan seorang yg bernama AYAH nie...sometimes org x sempat pun nk kol umah tnye khaba sume sbb bz kt sek, but my mom & dad never forget to call me to ask if everything's okay or not..duet sume ckup ke tak...isk =,) terharu.....


Ingat lagi penah ktorg br a few days got back from our kampung at Penang, then days later Elwana call mintak tlg jemput die balik from MRSM Pengkalan Hulu..i was like "eh elwana nie ngada2 plak. balik nek bus je la.sian bape penat2 nk pgi sane balik sume". But because He is a DAD, penat2 pun pegi jgak jemput elwana tu...byk kali da cmni sbenanye...

Masa nk balik kampung CNY hr tu, ktorg balik sabtu...so the highway was like packed with cars=Traffic jam!! 5 hours journey turned out to be a 7 hours journey!! huh. i dalam kete da mengeluh2 lama gila, bosan gila, ape sume. but my dad ttp je sabar memandu sorg2...manual plak tuh. bayangkan laa.....

Then masa raya la especially, mase sume org sibuk2 nk beli baju raya baru lah, perabot baru lah, langsir baru sume, my dad mmg x penah nk beli ape2 pun...ble ktorg mntak duit nk beli sume2 tu, die bg je...siap tolong anta and amek mase nk bli brag. then bile ktorg tnye, "eh bape xnak beli bju raye skali ke" he will reply "xpela...bape pkai baju lama2 pun xpe...elok lagi nie...bagi anak2 pakai baju baru..." huh =,) again. Everytime he will say like that. sejak dulu. Sanggup kua duet untuk tengok anak2 hepi tp sendiri pkai baju yg lama2...sometimes da koyak pun ckit2... isk =,( dlu mse kecik2 mmg x pasan la kan...x sedar pun ape yg blaku...tp now bile da besar, da penah keje, tau cmne susahnye nk cr duit sendiri br la kte realized all these little things that we failed to notice before kan?


So slalunye skang nie kalo ktorg kua bli bju, we will buy something la for him...i mmg suke bab2 pilih2 baju ke, kasut nieh.hehehe....yg bestnye ble my dad suke plak bju yg kte bg tu, die akan pkai je byk2 kali. hehe...n akan ckp cmnih "best la baju yg hani kasik nieh. Sejuk je pakai. corak pun lawa" he...he...he... ;P


Satu lagik, my dad nie rasanya jenis yg akan cube sdaye-upaya tunaikan permintaan anak2 n isterinye...haha...contohnye, kalo my mom nk pergi 1 place tu kan. mule2 mmg la my dad bising ckp xyah pegi la, xde ape kt ctu, da la jauh sume, bla2...tp at the end sure dia akan bawak jugak ktorg pegi tmpt tu..bia la jauh mane pun...mmg akan ditunaikan jugak...=,) sometimes even though mcm my dad tgh xde duet sgt ke (mmg he never told us ade duet ke tak), mmg dia akan bg jgak cemana2 pun...kdg2 geram gak la cm el slalu mntak duet nk kua ngn kwn2...sbb ble kte teringat btape susahnye our dad nk cr duet tu kan..die bwk g joli plak...hmm...tp nk wt cmna...mmg my dad jnis lmbut hati...sye mewarisi..haha..



samala mcm kes i nk bwk kete g johor nie...mule2 ckp xyah la, jauh, bahya drive sorang2 sume...last2 bagi jugak....siap isikan minyak full-tank before i bertolak..pastu once a while akan tnya duet ckup ke tak sume..isk isk.. =,) mmg sgt2 terharu la...da besar nie kadang2 segan gk nk mintak duet ngn my dad kan...tp nk wat cne, kalo x mntak xde la duetnye..huhu..xpe2, nnti i dapat gaji, i bli adiah byk2 bg sama my dad :) but i kno, btape byknye adiah pun xkan dpt balas jasa tu kan.. :(


 teringat he once said "nie nanti ble hani, han,hana sume da besa jgn lupe kt bape plak. cuti2 balik la kampung jenguk2 bape kt kampung. seronok jugak ade anak2 melwat nnti...tgk cm hani senang. jd cikgu. budak2 cuti, die pun cuti. ada la masa nk jenguk2 bape ble tue nnti kan" hoho...time nie die ckp kt my sis sbenanye sbb die kje bank kan..keje ikut syif...so cm die riso sket la...hu..insyallah...


lg satu, my dad slalu back-up ktorg kalo ktorg kene mara /bebel ngn my mom..hehe..sometimes like he's more understanding la...cthnye cm kalo my mom ckp care i masak salah ke ape sume, nnti die akan ckp something like this "eh mana ada...xpe...hani masak sup sedap je bape rase. bape suke. pandai hani masak.." hoho...so this is something yg i sgt2 trharu la...n yep, he never condemned my cooking even once! i heart him so much wlpn x pnah tnjuk kan...hoho..xreti lah nk tnjuk cmna. but i think dia faham kot. my way of showing i love someone is by giving things kot...n i care bout them...

hm..ikutkan, mmg bykkk sgt lgi pengorbanan2 my dad utk ktorg nih. x ckup page ni nk tulis..but i think that's all for now...ape2 pon, mmg i love my dad so much! i want my future husband to have his characteristics kalo bleh! understanding, caring, loving, willing to sacrifice anything for the one he loves.....

hu...

okay.this one in front of Masjid Kristal Terengganu Dec last year :)

In front of Kellie's castle, Perak. i begitu comot d ctu sbb nie singgah mse otw blk from penang-kl.

haha..duk dlm keta lama sgt ;p

okay.pixs laen next time lah.slow gel tenet nih

:D

Saye baru beli langsir baru, almari baru, meja laptop baru :)
Pasni rumah di johor bakal ada tv, tilam, almari, langsir dan meja laptop baru :)

mood: x sabar nk deco bilekk!! :D

Entry ini panjang dan xde gmba

Finally, i'm home!! erk...my hometown.hehe.. on Friday tuh ktorg xde klas..bcoz ade Sukantara...so training bdak2 utk sukan, perbarisan je sume..me? pagi2 lg mse nk g skolah i da bwak beg bju n beg laptop sbb pas skolah tros nk blk KL. hehe....abes je skola 11.40a.m. tuh tros tuka jeans sme. Ckgu2 pun tanya "wahh,..nk tros balik ke nie? x mandi pun leh tuka bju trus ye?" hahaha...ah, x kesah. xkan nk balik pkai sua trek ngn sports shoes plak kan.haha..tuka je la... :) 

Tp prasan gk la sme cm tkejut je tgk dressing sye tuh. lol. pkai jeans with bb-T n cardigan je...tp ye lah...x molek kot...kat kg kan...org ckp 'masuk kandang harimau mengaum, masuk kandang kambeng mengembek" ye tak? haha...bukanlah kena hipokrit, tp kena la pandai menyesuaikan diri kt tempat orang...lgpon tempat org kot...bukan tempat kite....kan? so dalam kawasan felcra tu slalunye sye agak menjaga la pakaian sye nih...yelah,sme org kenal kot. g kedai je sme tgk "Assalamualaikum ckgu!" haha...kadang2 tu segan plak nk p kedai petang2 bli barang. rasa cm celebrity plak wlpon dgn muka-baru-bangun tido- x mandi lagi- busuk2. LOL.Bukan ape, name pun cikgu..kena la bg contoh yg baek untuk anak2 murid kan... kite x kesah, tp tkot anak2 murid ikot kang naye je mak bapak kejaq cr kt umah.haha...

Ade 1 night tu sye kene ngaja kelas malam. So pkai jeans ngn kemeja long sleeve....kre okey2 je la sizenye..xde la longgar pun.ahha.. pastu bdak2 dtg pkai bju kurung..segan seyh (^_^)"  begitu jge dgn peristiwa semasa memanskan badan before prektis sukan ptg2....sye wat la bulatan ngn bdak2 pompuan....ok. mse star jump kot, sye pon wat jgak...haha..pastu kebetulan sye pkai bju d only t-shirt long sleeve yg sye bawak...muat2 jgak...longgar tp agak singkat. haha ;p then ade budak laki sound "aiyoo ckgu, xleh ke pakai baju labuh skitt..." hahaha...zappp!! "sorry, ckgu bawak 2 helai t-shirt ni je"  (>_<)".

Ha, tgk tu. budak2 pon pandai. haha..manelah sye tau kt cni sukannye bulan 2! sua trek pon seb bek bawak 2 helai! hu...oh so, utk kawan2 di luar sana, pandai2 lah ye... xleh nk salahkan org laen conservative ke ape jgak... sbb mereka mmg da biasa begitu... kite kene la cbe menyesuaikan diri...pndai2...jgn smapai org mengata/ benci kita just bcoz of our dressing... ok? (ceh. pandai bg nasihat. ye, utk hani juge ye.sile igt! )

  Hahah..tp not all the time lah..ble nk kua dr kg tu sye pkai je la ape yg sye biase pkai...wtpe nk jd hipokrit kan..kalo jmpe kt luo tu naseb la. this is what i am. lgpon i kt lua kawasan sekolah dan felcra.haha ;p

oh,back to story.

Then tumpang Dafi g kota...Dafi nie kre my colleague la...ckgu ganti sbb ckgu yati bsalin...Friday tu last dia kt skola tu..kebetulan umah die kt Kota...so, i pun tmpang je la kan..haha..agak segan ye mule2, seb bek Dafi jnis cool n slumber. beborak je spanjang pjalanan. siap offer tunggu kt umah die lg smentara nk tggu Faralee smpai. tp xpelah kan..segan...haha...so i tunggu la faralee kt KFC kota ....1jam gk la tunggu sbb skolah faralee balik lewat..hu..nk pasang laptop, battery kong plak. kt KFC tu da la plug seketul pun x nampak. ayam goreng je pnuh. aih...So i menghabiskan mase dgn melihat2 org d sekeliling~~ haha ;p

mase blk from Kota Tinggi to KL, i tumpang faralee, minah Schumacher yer. jem2 pun within 5 hours slamat smpai KL. hihi...:)  tp bcoz it's Friday, and petang plak tuh, so ble ktorg arrived in KL tpakse la menempuh kesesakan lalu lintas yg..........erghhh!!!!!

Then, the next day btolak balik penang....after 7 HOURS ride by car br la smpai...sesakkkkk! especially kt hentian duta, tapah. cm siput! fuh. panas pulak kt utara niehh................

oh, esok nk pegi melawat makcik yg baru beranak bby boy. ehehe...then, monday nk g tgk progress umah baru d sungai petani :)

Monday, 8 February 2010

Hello peeps! 

I'm still alive and breathing~ hihi...

Life has been quite good lately. Yesterday, we've get to eat nasi + lauk kenduri kawen

sent by kind ckgu Mizi & Nawi. haha..Actually, we were invited to the wedding, but all of us were 

so segan coz we barely know the orang2 kampung. Like, if there's a school teacher went there to help or here they called it as 'Rewang2',

it's okay, we can just tag along. The prob is we didn't know if there's a school teacher

who went to the kenduri. That's why. haha. So, all of us decided to stay at home

and cooked our lunch which is kari sardin.

While cooking, the 2 guys texted us asking whether we have eaten or not (hihi..riso due to the incident i muntah2 ble x makan! ;p) So they sent us some nasi + lauk2 kenduri...hahaha...yep, the 2 guys went

to the kenduri to Rewang2 la...laki xpe..xsegan sgt..ktorg yg pompuan 3 org ni plak segan..hu..

xpe2, next time..hoho...So, the conclusion is we had a very hearty lunch and dinner yesterday..hehe...

Tq to both of you!!! X sabaq nk tunggu keropok lekor terengganu! :D

Today, we had a gerko meeting after school...until 3.30pm...then cam biasa, i mesti kebuluq dah.

So we went to a stall with Pn. Nazah, our GPK 1...she will be staying with us tonight. Yep, because

her house is in Kulai which is 1 1/2 hours from school. She travels everyday to school by car.

Hu..so sometimes ble ade meeting ke, night class abes lewat, dia pn x larat nk drive home alone

da ptg2 kan..so usually she will put up a night at our home... hehe..sonok, meriah cket umah

ble ckgu Nazah ade. We love to gossip & talk! :D Oh, so, ptg td i makan kueteow goreng n ABC..

juga dibelanja oleh ckgu Nazah... hehe..

PAstu balik je umah td before g sport's practice, depan umah, cik Nor plak bru stat berniaga 

Roti Bom@Boom...she makes the frozen ones and read-to-eat one. Who wants, come to Sungai Ara.

hihi... :) So again, we get free food....which is Roti Boom!!! :) :) :)

(mcm tau2 je i was craving for roti canai lepas bce status nedd ;p)

hehe...Alhamdulillah...murah rezeki kami hari ini :)

I guess it's true...when u do a good deed, Allah will repay you with something better...

Maybe it's not in the form of what u wished for, but in a shape of something else..

Like me, i've got the rezeki in the form of food~~~ :D

Thank you Allah! 

;)

daa~

Merentas Sekolah, yep, it's SEKOLAH (I_I)'

Alright. Bismillahirrahmanirrahim....

I woke up at 6.15a.m. today (saja bangun lambat coz today we have Merentas Desa). With sleepy eyes, but wishful hopes, i took my bath and get ready to school. I was very excited to do the Merentas Desa with my students :) But to my disappointment, the supposedly Merentas Desa turned out to be Merentas SEKOLAH. Why??? I guess it's simply because there's no proper organizing were made before the event started (okey. I'm so pissed off with the one who is supposed to handle this event. can't mention any names here tho.huhu...)  Can u imagine our disappointments when we were told by him that the Merentas Desa event could not be carried out? Because the letter wasn't there, the PBSM segala. wth. All the teachers da buat muka anggur masam masa tau td. peh.

Anyways, we don't have other choices than to accept. So what we did was for Year 1 &2 they have to run around the school field 8rounds (crazy!!), year 3&4 10 rounds, and year 5&6 12 rounds. Yeah, can u imagine like there's 20 students who are running in the lap on the field. Then the teachers have to keep an eye on those who is leading, number 3,4,5,- 20.. OMG. it was so haywire i can say!!! What if there rae students who are very slow and haven't finished their 1st lap yet when the fastest ones have already run 2 rounds? How are we supposed to know who is faster than the other? HOWWW.......................bleeghhhhh...........So, here are some photos which i managed to capture during the so callled Merentas Desa event. enjoy~

warming up :)

taklimat before merentas Sekolah ;p

our field

my year 2 students..huhu

  

 my year 6 students. yg depan nie name die Adli. no 1 ye lari.hihi.

comey x comey x? ;>

 

okey.these are the stuffs that i have to prepare for my school's

ETEMS room. yep. my room will be very2 messy when it's working time! ;p

haha...see...when im doing my work, i like everything to be

on the floor all around me~~ :) yes, itu blog zack (best! ;p)

smbil wat kje smbil baca blog org.haha

KEWPA-7 forms. i need to fill in 4 copies...

okay. that's all for now.

salam