Friday, 26 February 2010

How to Affair-proof your relationship

7 ways to make sure your partnership does not fall into infidelity 

An affair is one of the most difficult challenges a couple can face, and nothing destroys a romantic relationship faster than infidelity. Is it really possible to affair-proof your relationship? The answer is, "Yes, it's possible." But in order to make that happen, it's important to know what causes an affair in the first place.
An affair is an extreme symptom of a relationship that has been in trouble for some time. Affairs do not happen out of the blue and rarely happen because someone is a bad person. Cheating is caused by one single factor: 
"Lack." In a relationship, it's a lack of love, attention, intimacy, recognition, respect, and connection that builds up over time. Eventually, this "lack" can become so painful that the person in the most pain will often act out by cheating. Because communication has broken down, the cheating person doesn't feel like they can talk to their partner, so that makes them vulnerable to cheating.
So, how do you avoid getting to this point in a relationship? Below are seven ways to avoid the "lack" and prevent a potential affair.
1. Avoid complacency. Don't ever take your relationship for granted. Partnerships need to be nourished daily by a kind word, appreciation, a loving kiss, a smile. Complacency is a warning signal that you and your partner are out of touch with each other.
2. Keep the lines of communication open. Don't sweep issues under the rug. They won't go away! Learn ways to resolve differences so that recurring arguments don't continue.
3. Pay attention to your gut. If you're feeling something isn't quite right in your relationship, 99 percent of the time you're correct. Find a way to approach your partner to talk about things. Keep your relationship current by checking in on a weekly basis to make sure problems aren't building up.
4. Find time for each other. Don't get so busy that you forget to have a date with your partner. Make time away from chores and work to renew your loving feelings. Remember how important your mate is to you. Tell them, by making time for them.
5. Know when it's a time of stress and pay attention to your partner even more. Some common trigger times for extra stress in a relationship are job changes, health problems, changes in finances, and the death of a family member or friend. During these stressful periods, pay extra attention to your relationship. Let your partner know you're there, and make even more time to connect with each other.
6. Understand the real issues in your relationship. Learn tools for resolving arguments. Avoid blaming, shaming, and the need to always be right in an argument. Learn what you're really fighting about so that you can resolve your issues. If you're fighting about the wrong thing, you'll never resolve arguments.
7. Always remember what it was that made you fall in love with your partner. Too often we allow our disagreements to cloud our love for our significant other, and we forgot why we even fell in love! Keep your sense of humor. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt and don't make them your enemy.
Avoid the "lack" and affair-proof your relationship by staying conscious of yourself and your partner. Nurture each other and keep the lines of communication open.
By Sharon M. Rivkin, M.A., M.F.T., for
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1 comment:

SoFie NuR said...

nice article...
kena beringat selalu ni..hehee

btw, resepi kopok lekor cincai tu i dah tulis kat komen kat my entry kopok lekor tu :)